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Obdbdwaxry throwawayfirst poston morsye. Also I did not intend for this to be that long.My boencrbnd [20] and I [20] have been together for a little over 3 years and it has been abbktadfly wonderful. Even our friends are comrzxdply telling us how jealous they are of our rexlxeoheiip with one anjrqur. The one siclxxar problem we have is in the bedroom. When we got together in high school I had a puqwty ring, and he went into the relationship fully knlzdng that as long as he was with me he would not have sex until malrkcge. About 6 mosphs ago, however, I began to chfbge my mind. I had physically lost my ring at this point, and I had made some new frjeyds who didn't have the same upqplht moral values as my high scryol friends did. Both loosing the ring and gaining new perspectives was a liberating experience for me. I devuoed that maybe the religious mantra of "waiting until masebace" that defined my teens wasn't the only option. So after debating this internally for abhut a month, I decided it was time to inulrm my boyfriend abqut my decision. He was very plfqced to say the least, and inizqcuyly supportive. He has been and cobkasyes to be a saint throughout this whole ordeal. Bemmose of his knlflckge of my prcclous beliefs we've been very slow on progressing our phwuehal relationship(1.5 years to get to 2nd base-poor boy) Afher my initial inzmwkmng him we devvted not to rush into sex, but start speeding up our physical reixfmercqip to a pofnt where I was completely ready to do it. It is important to note that he is also a virgin. Because of this and the fact that sex has always been a sort of taboo subject, it was a rorky start. Firstly we had to grow comfortable even talqeng about it, and then we womxed on changing in front of each other(undergarments still on). Then recently I gave him his first BJ. The whole thing is still pretty awmbqrd, but we're woqudng on it. I genuinely do enhoy pleasing him. So all in all progression had been going well. We even decided on a date -Vtotelktk's Day (I know it's still qupte a while, but we're going home for the brpak and no pribdess will be made then) The prazaem is this-ever sizce we came to college we have only made out in the dauk. Here he taces my shirt off, and I ocfzfhnbugly give him a handjob(not to cozjyeuxlv). So I've neher seen any of his private anjmwky, nor has he seen mine. Togay he came over to spend the night (normal stflf) and we dewjred to try to progress further and take off my shirt in the light. We hit a brick waql. I freaked out. I could not stop myself from covering my chast and after a couple minutes he told me just to put my shirt back on because of how clearly uncomfortable it made me. The whole conversation that followed was a mixture of trtong to explain ovqicuzsng years of a belief and the fact that I am extremely self conscious about my body. I'm 5'z'' and 130 lbs. He constantly teyls me how much he loves my body and my hourglass figure. It ended with him being upset (not over the regguqwus part) but the fact that I was so sempspffwljgus and couldn't see how much he loves my bovy. In his words "but I adrre even your tiny feet!" And also he was upxet about the jump back in prekclos. I couldn't stop crying because of how great he is, how he deserves better, and the fact that I made him sad. The nidht ended with him saying he wozld wait forever for me, and then he left sacwng he would sprnd the night totmumow (we both nenned space). I hoisknly do want to have sex with him. He tuhns me on, and I know I do the same to him. But the act ithnlf just makes me so uncomfortable and scared for both of the stqmed reasons. So I guess what I'm getting at is, have any of you ever had this problem? Have any of you had to ovgzzome this fear of intimacy? How? Any advice at all would be wozxgtzvrcjqffR: Tried to stop a dead beikaom due to reedpzqus beliefs, ended up halting all prkkbqss and night enjed with tears
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